Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Bring It On, Baby Bean!

Well, it would appear that it has begun. I've thrown up twice today. I'm still hopeful that the first couple of vomit free weeks is a sign that I'll be one of those normal first trimester pukers!

The doctors office needed me to drink 32 ounces of water before my appointment this morning so that it would be easier to see my tiny bean in there. Are you serious?!!! I really think this picture of Jamie perfectly captures how I felt at the thought of this. His eyes are just completely bulging out of his head. The horror! In fact, the second puke was due largely to the 32 ounces of evil water.

So anyhow, it seems I'm not someone who will totally escape the "joys" of pregnancy but this time I'm ready. I'm not going in totally ignorant of what's to come and I won't be blindsighted by all the awfulness that may present itself. Bring forth the hurling and the mood swings! Summon the heartburn and the stretch marks! I will be victorious! You can fight me from the inside all you want little Belew, but in the end, I will win and you'll be brought into the world as a part of this crackpot family. Mwahahahaha! Hopefully once you get here you won't think I'm so bad afterall and you'll be a lovely dear of a baby, just like your brother.
The baby wants me to barf again. Later, loves!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

What Dreams May Come

One of the best and yet strangest parts of my last pregnancy were the dreams. They were vivid. They were odd. They were realistic. I often couldn't tell if i were truly awake or not. One of my most common dreams while pregnant with Jamie was that I needed to get up but could not open my eyes. I'd struggle and struggle until I finally realized I was dreaming and then I'd wake up...but not really. This would happen about four or five times, and it would always take several minutes before I could convince myself that I truly was awake.

So far, this pregnancy has been utterly different in nearly every way except for the missed period. I've had no vomiting and barely any nausea thus far. Well, what I'd call barely any. It's more like manageable nausea, which is still totally different. I've been in a rather good mood and I'm sure multiple people, especially my husband, would attest that was not the case last time. I told a friend that I haven't even wanted to smother him in his sleep for breathing yet! I've been having occasional cramps (which a few girls have assured me is ok, unless I have bleeding). I completely felt like I was going to start my period. That is so different from last time that I didn't even expect to be pregnant. With Jamie, I felt pregnant from the start. I was having absolutely no signs of an impending period and knew I just had to have a little person growing in there.

Now the "nearly" part comes in the form of the dreams. I've once again been having those interesting, vivid dreams. In fact, it was the the main way I suspected pregnancy. I had a dream that my cousin Jessica and I were at some college dorms and she had her baby and it was a girl. She was born with a full head of black hair that was in a Pebbles-style ponytail! Jessica, if Caroline looks like this, she'll be the cutest newborn ever!

The baby was really alert and could already sit up by herself. She was just looking around on and sitting on Jessica's stomach but was still all gooey!!! Then her husband took them up the hill and I was like "Crap! She didn't tell me her name!" and for some reason I could not get my backpack together to come after them and find out what the baby's name was!!!

I recounted this dream to her in a Facebook comment, which also included the closing line, "haha, after a dream like that i'm not sure who's the pregnant one here?!" This was two hours before I took a positive pregnancy test. How's that for ironic?! (which I'm told could be the wrong use of the word) ^_~

Monday, March 16, 2009

5 Weeks+10 Months+26 Years= Unprepared

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's official. I'm pregnant again. And though I adore my son and children in general, I find myself already questioning my ability to do this again so soon. Jamie is amazing and he's everything I could've asked for in a first child. (notice the neglect to include "first pregnancy") Needless to say there were a lot of questions running through my mind when I realized it was clearly 2 lines on that infamous little stick. What if this is a wonderful pregnancy and a difficult child? What if we don't get into a house with three bedrooms by the time #2 arrives? What if i'm not mentally capable of 2 kids under 2? What will other people think? What sacrifices will we have to make to afford it?

I have to say that there was one thought that hadn't even entered my mind until yesterday. Yesterday was the big day of announcing it to the families. Though they did seem quite excited, I'm positive I overheard someone say "Poor Guy" directly after the news was given. Now, if they were referring to my husband, they are sadly misinformed because he is the one who has been pestering me for #2 since Jamie was about 5 months old! Of course, the most logical thought is that they were referring to my son which, even in jest, I still would've found slightly annoying.

This is a thought I'd never considered. I'd never considered that, because of the new baby being so close in age to Jamie, my son would not get a turn in the spotlight or that he would somehow be forgotten or left behind too early in his young life or passed over by family in favor of the new arrival. I never considered because it's something I would never let happen. Let's face it, with total disregard for tooting my own horn. I'm a fantastic mother...and fabulous with children in general. They love me and it's because i have a true love for them. This second child coming when Jamie is so young might be a bigger challenge financially, mentally, or even socially (because it's seriously hard to do stuff with friends now) but it most certainly won't be a challenge where attention is concerned. If I have enough love to give to 16 kids in a preschool class every single day, I certainly have enough to share with my own two children.

Jamie's going to have all the love he wants; make no mistake about that. And #2 has wiggled it's way into our hearts as quickly as it did my uterus. I have big plans for my family...big plans.

He doesn't know what's in store, but he looks pleased anyhow!