Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Aging Ungracefully

At some point the line was crossed, and I want to know when. When did this happen to me? Today, I was eating lunch at Moe's when a group of high schoolers came in. I'm not talking 5 or 6 here. I'm talking at least 50 by the time we were done. I don't know why they were all there, nor do I really care. What I am concerned about is that, suddenly, I was old! I mean, it's ridiculous really, how old I'm still feeling. "I'm not old. I'm 37." (Okay, i'm 26 but I couldn't resist the urge to reference Monty Python.) Let me say that my intention is not to make older friends and family feel like cavemen, but to ponder this sad and simple fact of life: When did I go from feeling like this...

Seriously, those are high school freshman!


to this?!!!



Sure, I see high school kids all the time but never in such large quantities that you can compare and say, "Good Lord! They all look that young!" Somewhere, just in the last couple of years, I've begun to see myself as a different person. This should have been immediately obvious to me when I first realized that I was still unconsciously saying I was 25 when I'm, in fact, about to turn 27? Did I forget my age? Is the pregnancy amnesia more severe than I was lead to believe? I mean, honestly folks, I have to stop and think about how old I am. What's with that? No matter how many times I tell myself, "You're 26, Amanda. 26. Almost 27," there's a little voice of defiance deep within shouting back, "25!" I can almost see her there, with her arms folded, glaring back at me.

I know, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not old by a long shot, but man have I been smacked in the face with this today. Some may suggest that maybe it's because I'm now a mom, but what about teen mothers? Do they feel like they're not high schoolers anymore when they still are? I don't think it's because I'm a mother. I think it's because I'm officially closer to 30 than to 20. So, now I'm wondering, will I be hit with this feeling each time I cross the halfway point in another decade? 36, 46, 56?

I can only hope I age as gracefully as my mother or ya know, Jane Seymour. (I had to choose a fellow ginger, ya know...even if it's not natural.)

58!!! That woman right there is fifty-eight!!!

7 comments:

Jessi Wallace said...

Remember that age is just a number and you're only as old (or young) as you allow yourself to feel. So don't allow yourself to feel old! Embrace your age! :)

Your Favorite Redhead said...

yeah, but how can i embrace my age if i can't remember how old i am when asked?! haha

Tarren said...

Seriously, I started feeling the same when I had my first kid and was 22. All my friends were running around acting as stupid as I used to, and I found myself feeling waaay too mature to even be around them anymore. Now that I am turning 24, a voice inside me is freaking out that I will NEXT be 25. 25! Holy shit! I can't believe it. Maybe it was because I partied waaay too much and it was all a blur (the teen years) but I feel like I should, rightfully, still be 19.

Matt and Shelby said...

I too forget how old I am and tend to round up. I told someone the other day I was 27, and my husband corrected me.
I even see freshman in college and think they look like babies. I guess its because of the extreme amount of emotional growing that goes on between the ages of 21-27. I mean really. At 21 I still wanted to go out at 8,9,10 o'clock at night. Now I'm hoping and praying to be in bed by that time to catch up on some sleep. That makes me feel old!

Luna said...

I understand how you feel. It is not only the women and morthers feeling this way. I find myself yelling and "shaking my fist" at these stupid little teenage boys that are driving like frickin idiots. I really hate to admit they are only driving the way I did when I was that age. And yes, it was almost eleven years ago that I got my license. I officially hate teenagers, and my son is only six years away from actually being one. 

Emily Jean said...

jane seymour has had surgery, just like everyone else in hollywood. you can only hope to be as pretty as joan rivers, amanda. ;)

Your Favorite Redhead said...

yeah, but she's only had breast implants which doesn't affect the look of her face and the bags under her eyes removed. it's not like she had all that stuff done where she has big fake looking lips and eyebrows stuck in the surprise position.