Was it Something I Said? (The Birth Story)

So, clearly, the best way to induce labor is to insult your pregnancy with a "Dear John" blog. Several people have commented how funny it is that, on the day of telling my pregnancy how annoying I found it, it ended. I believe my cousin said it best. The comment she left on my last blog entry after finding out I'd be having the baby? "I think your pregnancy may have taken this very personally. I don't think it just left. I think it slammed the door in your face!" Indeed.

After that last "infamous" entry, I headed to my OB appointment for the week. It was the last one I was supposed to have with this OB, because my doctor would finally be returning from vacation on Sunday. Psht! The doctor did my first office check. I had been checked 3.5 days earlier at the hospital because I thought I might have been leaking fluid. In the hospital, I had been 1 cm and not effaced enough to mention. By Tuesday morning, the doctor informed me that I was now at a 2-3 and 80% effaced. He asked a few seemingly uninformative questions, but then informed me, while I needed to make an appointment with my regular OB for next week, he did not think I was going to make it til then. (My mom reckons he whispered a little something up there or used a little voodoo magic during the check so that he could get my hospital fee)

When I got home, it was hard not to feel excited. I was having back pain and contractions, but I told myself it was my imagination or wishful thinking. When things continued to feel progressively uncomfortable 4 or 5 hours later, I decided to call the doctor's office back and was prepared for them to tell me that was normal. Instead, I was told to go to Labor & Delivery.

Say what?!! My husband and I headed over to the hospital to see what was up. The doctor checked and said I was now a "stretchy 3" (how's that for hot terminology?) and 100% effaced. Instead of sending me home to have me come back later, he decided to break my water and get things moving. That all happened in about 45 minutes. After the OB had left the room, I was staring at my husband with coaster-sized eyeballs. We were about to have a baby! That's not exactly what I'd expected for the day.

I labored pain med free for about 3 hours, with intense contractions about 1-2 minutes apart. With my first son, I still wasn't sure the epidural had worked, so I was reluctant to get it this time. When the pain started becoming pretty unbearable, I told my mom that, if I'd made good progress, I was gonna keep going. If not, I'd talk about the meds. By the time I finally got checked again, they said I was a "loose 4." That was not the answer I was hoping to get.

The nurse, who had done natural labors herself, was very encouraging and wonderful but she told me that with my family's and my history of quick transitions and push times that I wouldn't have long to make a decision. She also said that she didn't think the epidural had worked either after I relayed my original labor horror story. I told her I'd give the epi a try after I continued to hear my cousin in the back of my mind saying, "If you want it, get it. Don't be a hero!" The nurse told me not to worry about it and just to relax. She was fantastic, by the way, and smelled like cookies! I told her that and she laughed and said maybe it was because she'd made banana nut muffins earlier that day. I nodded while I secretly thought, "No, you clearly smell like Tagalongs!"

Like this, only with scrubs!

I can now say with complete and utter confidence, my first epidural did NOT work!!!

Immediately after receiving the catheter in my back and laying down, my legs started to get really tingly. I just kept saying at every turn, "This is different from last time. This is different already." There were things I didn't like about the epidural, like how it made me feel and my horribly uncontrollable shakes (which came at the beginning and the end). I could feel like a pinch which hurt but not nearly as bad as the contractions had before. I told the nurse twice about the pinch and we shifted my position. She asked if I felt pressure in my bottom and I said no, so she asked if it was okay if she raised the bed up where I would be sitting to see if that would move the baby down. This was an hour after I'd gotten the epidural. She sat me up, walked out for 5 minutes and I was like "Ugh! I definitely feel it in my bottom." So my mom went and got her and she checked me and was like, "Yep, just like I thought. You're ready." Huh?!! Ready for what? For pushing?! I didn't feel at all like I did with Jamie, and I didn't really know when the contractions were even happening. The nurse told me when to go, I did. Everyone was saying, "Oh! Good Job! You're doing so good!" I was thinking, "Good at what?! What the heck am I doing?!" It didn't feel like anything was happening. However, I'm the apparent queen of pushing because I had about 10-15 minutes worth of pushing with Jamie and I pushed twice with Charlie (I think it was three times, but my mom and Tyler say two).

On November 4th, 2009 at 9:20 pm, Charles Grady was here! It was so amazing. I actually said "You're kidding me?! That was it?! That's what it was supposed to feel like last time?" I was on Cloud 9 and couldn't stop talking about it for hours. Everything has been easier in the recovery department, too. It's almost enough to erase the horror of what I experienced 18 months ago! We've been so excited to welcome home our 7 lb 1 oz little man. I am officially the proud mommy of 2 under 2. Now the adventure really begins!

Dear Pregnancy,

I'm so over you. If you're interested in trying to make this relationship work again, here are a list of things I'll need you to improve upon.

First of all, for the remainder of this particular pregnancy, I'm getting really tired of all the painful contractions that last for hours with no results. It's really obnoxious. Could you do something about that? Also, the little hemorrhoid "present" I've received? Yeah. Thanks but no thanks. I didn't find the joy in that gift. I'm gonna need you to exchange that. Perhaps consider giving me jewelry next time. A nice necklace from Tiffany's will do. Heck, I'll take one from Walmart. It's bound to be nicer than the current "gift." While you're at it, I'm also tired of getting up to pee 854 times a night only to have a trickle come out. Seriously?!! You're gonna make me wake up for that?! I'm thinking it's time to go Lisa Nowak-style and bust out the Depends...you know, the crazy astronaut? I think I'll rock her hairstyle now that I'm looking at it.

And as for "the next time," assuming there is one, please be a little more considerate of my feelings and those around me. I would really appreciate you not leaving me in a puddle of tears over a jar of pickles, and I'm sure my husband would like you a lot better if you didn't have me jump down his throat for...well...breathing, chewing, driving, and "looking at me funny," in general. I'm sure he'd like to see his loving wife every once in awhile as opposed to what I'm sure he thinks of me now (see below)

Now, don't misunderstand. Your end result in the past has been simply beautiful and I'm sure I'm in for a repeat this time. I only wonder, if it's not too much trouble, couldn't you treat me like one of those "mythical" pregnant women I'm always hearing about? You know, The ones who don't vomit every day, don't swell, don't pass out, "glow" instead of having a sweaty sheen, have nary a mood swing, and basically just exude sunshine out of every orifice? Is that too much to ask for for just one pregnancy? Too much to hope for?

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll do this for me, Pregnancy. As for now, I'm thinking we should take an extended break from one another. I need my space and time to gather my thoughts. Considering what you've done for me in the past, though, it's going to be hard to stay away forever. So, not "goodbye," but maybe..."see ya later?" We shall see.

Sincerely,
Amanda

Dear Husband,

Over at BabyCenter.com, there are many birth clubs and forums and topics. In my November 2009 forum, there are constantly girls posting threads about their husbands laughing at their pregnant appearance, leaving their pregnant wives and girlfriends, saying maybe it would be better if the baby would die (Seriously?!!), and just being all around dicks. One mom started a thread for us with decent men to post a letter of thanks to them. Sadly, not many participated. Now I'm not saying that Tyler doesn't have his flaws. He's got loads of them, as do I, but this is about all the amazing things he does every day. This was what I posted (with a few others added as I thought of them).

"Dear Husband,

I am so grateful that you're the man in my life (though, clearly, I don't always show it appropriately...or at all) Every day I'm reminded by friends, family, and people I don't even know how lucky I am to have a man who is as responsible, generous, and patient as you. Thank you for helping with our son as much as you do. There are too many dads who are uninvolved in their childrens' lives, even if they live in the same home. Thank you for busting your ass at work and for asking me to be a stay-at-home mom b/c that's the kind of care you want for your children. Thank you for the sacrifices you have made in order to keep a job closer to where we grew up just because you know how very important my family and friends are to me, and even though you know I'd move with you wherever. Thank you for the massive amount of help you gave me, while I was recovering from the preeclampsia and for forcing me to rest (even when I was in hysterics trying to defy you) because that's what the doctor ordered. Thank you for struggling to keep your eyes open til I fall asleep on nights when I'm having an anxiety attack. We both know how hard it is for you to stay awake once you're ready for bed.

Thank you for never, ever telling me you think I look bad when we both know there are plenty of times I'm not looking great. Thank you for never mentioning the 50 or so stretch marks I got while making your son. Thank you for telling me I'm your best friend. Thank you for pregnant foot massages. Thank you for not being the giant douche of a man that some of my friends always seem to end up with. Thank you for chasing down Mattie right before our wedding rehersal because you love that dang dog as much as I do, even if you don't always admit it. Thank you for our first date being a messy barbeque joint and playing pool. Definitely not the most romantic of first dates, but look where it's landed us in 7 years! Thank you for being exactly what my mother prayed for me, and on that topic, for loving your extended family. Thank you for seeming to love me in spite of all the crazy floating around in here.

You're amazing and I love you, but don't think this means you're getting some tonight."

Pregnancy Parasite & Staying At Home

Can you believe people actually purchase these on the black market for a diet solution?!

It would appear that Charlie is a true parasite, which, frightens me when I think about delivering what's sure to be a 60 lb infant. At my last OB appointment, I'd lost another 2 pounds. It's not something that's detrimental by any means when you're as over weight as I am. In fact, the doctor says that I'll probably weigh less after I give birth than before I got pregnant. That would be excellent indeed, but I'm not really planning on that to happen. In my ever pessimistic mind, I keep waiting for the bottom to drop out...or "to expand" (terrible, i know).

A friend of mine recently had to write a blog about how she has to spend most of her day at work thanks to debts that must be paid back and at the expense of seeing her own child. This makes me very sad but it also reminds me to be very thankful. I'm so grateful every day that we are financially able to allow me to stay home with Jamie. Granted, by the time Charlie gets here, I wouldn't be able to work anyhow because of the cost of two children in daycare. There's just no way we could afford $300 a week with a daycare paycheck. Nevertheless, I could be working right now to make every last penny we could get before having two children. Thankfully, I don't have to.

Jamie is in quite an adorable stage right now and I'm very glad I get to relish in practically every second of it. I love when he picks up a book or magazine or picture and says, "Wa sat?!" (which is "What's that?!" for adults) and that I'm able to tell him or in the case of it being something he knows, turning it around and saying "I don't know. What is that?" I love when he looks at every dog and goes "oof oof ow ow!" which is really a dog woofing and a cat meowing together but hey, it's adorable. I love when he signs "All done" and pushes his plate away so I know he's finished eating. There are so many things changing and new stuff that he's learning about literally every single second that I'm so thankful to be sharing it with him while I have the time to focus all my attention on him. Maybe I'll feel differently when there are two to chase (because I know parents with more than one kid who stress staying at home) but for now I think this is a pretty amazing life and I promise to enjoy every minute I have with little Jamie before I miss it and he's big Jamie.

For those women out there who have to work to support their family, fear not. My mother worked overtime all the time and my brother and I were in daycare pretty much every day growing up. She and I couldn't have been closer! (except for that pesky preteen stage, of course. ha) When we go out to this day people say with such shock "You guys seem like best friends!" like it's unheard of that a mother and daughter would get along that well. So, it is truly possible to let your children know you adore them even if you have to spend most of your time at work. As long as you make the most of the time you do have with your children, they'll never notice that it's less than the time they spend at the nursery.

Charles Grady Belew and a New House, Too!

Let me just say that I can't wait for us to finally be all settled in to the new house and for the last box to be unpacked! The plan is to be mostly done this weekend, but we'll see. The end does seem within reach, at least, and that is a very positive thing. I promise pictures of the home are coming as soon as the piles of stuff have been placed in their proper locations. We're very excited about the upcoming housewarming party.

I mainly just dropped by to spread the news that we are, as I suspected, having another boy. Boys seem to run rampant in the Belew family so I really didn't expect to see anything other than a willie. We didn't even have full names picked 

out for a girl. While Jamie was annoyed by our mere presence at his 20 week ultrasound and tried in vain not to show anyone his manly bits, Charlie showed his differences to his big brother by spreading his legs for the world to see. I can't wait for the time when he and Jamie are able to play together and hope they will be lifelong buddies. Jackson will only be 4-5 months older than Charlie and with the two of them living so close, I have a feeling they will become thick as thieves, while Jamie shows them who has all the authority! Continuing my new surroundings of all boy children, it seems Nanny's house will be amuck with little guys. Come christmas she'll have my two, as well as Isaac filling up her home. (Sheesh. This Christmas, Jamie will be old enough for Santa Claus. That will be exciting.) It seems I can register now for the baby shower everyone keeps asking me to have...not tha

t I'm complaining. I better wait until fall clothing starts coming back out.

This little guy seems much more active than Jamie already but the doctor said I'm probably just more aware this time. I disagree. I think he really is more active. He's all over the place! He's my little popcorn baby. Perhaps, Mexican Jumping Bean is more appropriate since he has me craving tortilla chips pretty much nonstop. Tonight we're going to Moe's Southwest Grill before we run some more house errands and I am completely stoked! I'm obsessively checking the clock for the time Tyler will be home. I'll leave you w

ith a look at our newest edition. Some say alien, I say adorable!

Two Outta Three Ain't Bad

It appears my mystical powers have failed me. I guessed right on my friend Emily's girl and my friend Erika's boy, but my cousin Jessica decided to spite me and have a little boy instead of the lady I'd predicted. Actually, I believe everything Jessica has done in her pregnancy was to spite me. First, she went and had not a smidge of morning sickness. Then, she thought it would be funny if she showed me how few stretch marks she could get (i.e. zero). And for her grand finale, she decided to have a 6 hour natural labor. That's it?! Six hours?! Who is this super woman?! Aren't we supposed to have some of the same genes? I always knew Nanny loved "Perfect Jessica" the best. I should have known that she passed her awesome pregnancy genes to her first grand-daughter on purpose.

For those of you that don't know my relationship with my cousin, I jest. "Perfect Jessica" is something I said in an angry tantrum long ago...I think it was last week. Sorry, I can't help myself sometimes. And the previous paragraph is all based on the fact that last Thanksgiving, Jessica declared she was glad we were not pregnant at the same time because she was sure I would hate her. Well, in the meantime, I went and got knocked up purely to see if her theory was true. That was the whole reason for Belew #2. It turns out I did not hate being pregnant at the same time as her. In fact, I am so proud of her and happy for her and my entire family that a new addition has been added. She's a tough old bird just like Nanny and I adore that.

Though her whole situation did get me thinking. Is my Gingervitis the cause of my crappy pregnancy? There are two types of people on the Long side of the family, those that look like straight up Native Americans and those that seem they jumped the boat from Ireland. There's not really an in between. Perhaps there's a severe nausea gene that hitches a ride over with the freckles and one for stretch marks getting cozy with the one for red hair. Someone should do research on this subject for the sake of ginger moms everywhere. (Again, I jest but only half-heartedly)

I'm sure baby Isaac is adorable and I will post a picture of him here as soon as there is one to post, so check back often. As for me, I can't wait to get up there and meet him at Jessica's earliest convenience. Perhaps I'll tow Nanny along because Lord knows she wouldn't get up there unless she's baited by a chance at holding a new baby. I'll even take a graveyard shift just so they can get a whole night of sleep. Have a wonderful first night at home with your son, Wonder Woman!

Isaac Bradley Wilder, 7 lbs 4 oz, 21 in.
Ready to start yapping, a Nanny Long trait! (We pop out the alert ones)

The Best Days

As I sit here watching my son grin while he pretends to eat cereal puffs out of an empty container, I can't help but think of my friends...friends that are expecting babies, friends that have new little ones, and friends who are waiting for their time to come...and I'm filled with amazement and a little amused by the advanced knowledge at how much better their lives will become. Each day with your own child brings some new wonder, and just when you feel you couldn't possibly love anyone or anything any more, your baby suddenly will become magically more adorable than the previous second.

Now, I'm not foolish enough to think that every parent in the world is a good one and that everyone has love for their children, but the women I have in mind most certainly will. And I don't care how cliche it is, the truth remains that the love you feel as a mother is the best kind of love. I'm also not so insane to ignore the fact that there will always be bad days but for every completely and utterly bad day there are 50 good ones with your child. (that's coming from a woman who battles depression consistently) Last night I was sobbing uncontrollably, but in the midst of it jamie was runnig across the living room and throwing himself at the floor. Then he would roll like he'd had a major spill and giggle, and I couldn't help but laugh through my tears.

Currently, Jamie is laying on me and tickling me waiting for me to laugh. I'm serious. His first word was tickle and he has now mastered the concept. He wiggles his fingers on my arm, stomach, whatever's closest saying "tickle, tickle, tickle" until I belt out my most convincing laugh. I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you ladies, even the ones with newborns, that you can imagine it, but you truly have no idea of the joy you are in for. Sappy I guess, but true. Even now, I'm surprised every day by this love. I'm so excited to have ladies to share it with.

I need to shave.

Come One, Come All

Here's my sorry that I've been lacking in the blog department. Much has happened since "Bellybean." For starters, Jamie is now a one year old! He's also toddling around from place to place. He's still quite clumsy, but with his 80th percentile head teetering above his 10th percentile body, who could blame him? Those numbers were from his nine month check-up. His 12 month will be next wednesday. I still expect his noggin to be above average. He's sick right now and we had to go to the hospital. The doctor there said he has a large head and when i told him the percentile he was like, "And is someone monitoring that?!" What?! I assume his pediatrician is. Apparently, I have a freak show baby. Maybe I could get rich if I enrolled him in a Circus Tots program. "Come and see the Living Bobblehead! You won't believe your eyes!" I mean, clearly my son has a sizeable head, but I like to think that it's there to house his sizeable brain. Thanks Doc, for giving me a complex, as if I don't have enough of those already. I'm just thankful that Jamie isn't old enough for such insecurities.







His birthday celebration was wonderful. He tried to eat his cake with a spoon. The only part he truly got messy with were the cookie ears (it was a monkey cake). Now my baby is officially a toddler and I adore him more everyday. Just when I think "You're so cute I can't handle it," he gets even cuter.





As for the current pregnancy, I've lost weight so far and I pretty much feel like the infamous pumpkin, unless I'm asleep. Please pray that it ends this time. Not the pregnancy, obviously that will end when it's time. I mean the misery. I know I got through it once already, but I'd really prefer a happier experience this time. Loathing pregnancy doesn't really make it any easier.

Bellybean

Just a quick little update here. There are no pictures to be shared because it still didn't look like much but we saw the heart flickering away on the monitor, and we saw the bean bounce or jump or what have you. That was the cutest part. I was like, "Is it moving?" The doctor said, "No, not right now," but then it went **bloop** right up on the screen! Yay!

The doctor says he puts the due date at November 30th which I know is way too late in the game, because I found out the day I missed my period. There is just no way I would've caught it when I was technically 2 weeks pregnant because that would've been conception. So I'm gonna leave it around the 17th and maybe a few days after. So here we go.

Bring It On, Baby Bean!

Well, it would appear that it has begun. I've thrown up twice today. I'm still hopeful that the first couple of vomit free weeks is a sign that I'll be one of those normal first trimester pukers!

The doctors office needed me to drink 32 ounces of water before my appointment this morning so that it would be easier to see my tiny bean in there. Are you serious?!!! I really think this picture of Jamie perfectly captures how I felt at the thought of this. His eyes are just completely bulging out of his head. The horror! In fact, the second puke was due largely to the 32 ounces of evil water.

So anyhow, it seems I'm not someone who will totally escape the "joys" of pregnancy but this time I'm ready. I'm not going in totally ignorant of what's to come and I won't be blindsighted by all the awfulness that may present itself. Bring forth the hurling and the mood swings! Summon the heartburn and the stretch marks! I will be victorious! You can fight me from the inside all you want little Belew, but in the end, I will win and you'll be brought into the world as a part of this crackpot family. Mwahahahaha! Hopefully once you get here you won't think I'm so bad afterall and you'll be a lovely dear of a baby, just like your brother.

The baby wants me to barf again. Later, loves!

5 Weeks+10 Months+26 Years= Unprepared

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's official. I'm pregnant again. And though I adore my son and children in general, I find myself already questioning my ability to do this again so soon. Jamie is amazing and he's everything I could've asked for in a first child. (notice the neglect to include "first pregnancy") Needless to say there were a lot of questions running through my mind when I realized it was clearly 2 lines on that infamous little stick. What if this is a wonderful pregnancy and a difficult child? What if we don't get into a house with three bedrooms by the time #2 arrives? What if i'm not mentally capable of 2 kids under 2? What will other people think? What sacrifices will we have to make to afford it?

I have to say that there was one thought that hadn't even entered my mind until yesterday. Yesterday was the big day of announcing it to the families. Though they did seem quite excited, I'm positive I overheard someone say "Poor Guy" directly after the news was given. Now, if they were referring to my husband, they are sadly misinformed because he is the one who has been pestering me for #2 since Jamie was about 5 months old! Of course, the most logical thought is that they were referring to my son which, even in jest, I still would've found slightly annoying.

This is a thought I'd never considered. I'd never considered that, because of the new baby being so close in age to Jamie, my son would not get a turn in the spotlight or that he would somehow be forgotten or left behind too early in his young life or passed over by family in favor of the new arrival. I never considered because it's something I would never let happen. Let's face it, with total disregard for tooting my own horn. I'm a fantastic mother...and fabulous with children in general. They love me and it's because i have a true love for them. This second child coming when Jamie is so young might be a bigger challenge financially, mentally, or even socially (because it's seriously hard to do stuff with friends now) but it most certainly won't be a challenge where attention is concerned. If I have enough love to give to 16 kids in a preschool class every single day, I certainly have enough to share with my own two children.

Jamie's going to have all the love he wants; make no mistake about that. And #2 has wiggled it's way into our hearts as quickly as it did my uterus. I have big plans for my family...big plans.

He doesn't know what's in store, but he looks pleased anyhow!